Devil's Partner In Crime
by Dragonette's Madness
Summary: I'm stuck with an idiot named Oga Tatsumi, taking care of the future demon king, Kat-..uh, Kai-... whatever! The situation turned worse when that idiot Tatsumi declared me as the mother! "We're always in trouble and called partners in crime, so you're gonna be my partner in this" Tatsumi said while picking his nose. I'm screwed. (rated for language and Furuichi's existence)
1. Chapter 1

A baby.

A green haired baby.

A green haired, buck naked baby.

A green haired, buck naked baby that just came out of an old man who _split his goddamn body in half._

What the hell?

Right i have forgotten to introduce myself. My name is Shiranui Yuu and i know it sounds like a guy's name but no, i am positively female (Though I doubt you can see that). I am currently with a close friend of mine Oga Tatsumi, at a riverbank after watching him beat up some thugs that tried to ambush (more like kill) him when he's sleeping.

Pah, stuuupid wannabie thugs. As if you can get rid of him easily.

Going back to where i left off, Tatsumi is currently making scary faces at the baby (and threatening him mind you), which should have scared any other baby off.

But that little brat just smiled. _He smiled. _Even his eyes are sparkly!

"Oi Tatsumi," said person turned to look at me, with the green haired entity hanging off his chest "looks like that brat likes you," i teased him which earned me a glare. After making many different scary faces (which i can compare to satan himself), he ended up with the baby stuck to him like glue.

"He won't get off," Tatsumi grumbled. I laughed and he smacked my head.

We ended up at Furuichi's house, and Tatsumi started explaining the situation to him like an idiot he is and me sitting at his bed (let's hope Furuichi does not notice that) trying hard not to laugh at Furuichi's expression. God help him.

"Wait wait wait wait," Furuichi halted him.

"Huh?" Tatsumi paused

"Don't 'huh' me, who's kind hearted and popular? The first thing you said 'Everybody kneel before me' you're a tyrant aren't you?!" Furuichi complained and he turned to me "Yuu! Don't just sit there quietly! Tell me what happened!" he complained

"I think i'm going to sit this one out." i said as i munched on a cheesecake. This guy knows where to buy cake. It's good! "Besides, your expression is entertaining Eroichi," i said, grinning.

"DON'T CALL ME THAT YUU!" Jeez this ero guy got some voicebox.

"Idiot" Tatsumi pointed at Furuichi "You're an idiot Eroichi–,"

"You too Oga?" Furuichi sweatdropped.

"–Yo mama so fat!" Tatsumi continued

"Don't yo mama me,"

"Are you sure? Really think about it–" Tatsumi said as he munched on the last of the cake "–Do you think I'm the kind of guy, who without a reason would force people to bow before me?"

"Yeah"

"Totally"

Furuichi and I said simultaneously. Tatsumi got up from his seat and grabbed both of us and put us in a headlock.

Well tried to put me in the deathlock (i call it that cause it really hurts, no shit) i escaped and in the end Furuichi got all the pain of the deathlock while I sighed in relief. Whew, safe.

"OH REALLY? WANNA HEAR THE REST THEN?!"

"OW OW OW OW I GIVE I GIVE!"

I laughed as Tatsumi released Furuichi from his deathlock and the latter rubbed his neck "Why didn't Yuu get the headlock," he pointed at me "No fair!"

"That's because i escaped from his grip before he got the chance to do it, unlike you, Stupid Eroichi" I said while sipping some tea. "You can continue Tatsumi"

While Tatsumi tells Eroichi what happened in his point of view which is plain ridiculous, let me tell you my version (not like his of course, no narcassism, I swear)

I watched as the stupid guy apologised to Tatsumi, saying that he couldn't help himself seeing 'Ishi-High's legendary no-loss Oga-kun was sleeping defenselessly and his woman unprotected'

That earned him a kick at his head from me. His gang just winced.

I am NOT Tatsumi's woman dammit!

"A-anyway, we thought this is a chance, right..."

"No, not a chance" Tatsumi pointed to the place he was sleeping at, his bag was impaled with a huge metal, the ones you see at a construction site "If that hadn't been me, I could've died" He continued with a smile at his face.

"No, really," the stupid guy laughed nervously "Though it would have been great if you had died..."

I had to hold back my laughter when I saw Tatsumi's face froze in a smile. That stupid guy is totally gonna get it.

That guy ended up with his face underwater and Tatsumi holding his feet, and as if he was doing laundry, he dipped the guy in and out, saying "I wonder if it'll come out, this damn spot" I burst out laughing. When I saw his gang's faces, I laughed harder. Their faces totally read:

Devil.

Cruel.

It doesn't help that Tatsumi is smiling like a demon he is while doing it. Then they turned their heads to me as I was laughing like a madman.

What I didn't hear was that they said "No wonder she is Oga's woman," "She is just as devilish as him"

Then Tatsumi suddenly stopped. I went next to him and looked at the place that his eyes were looking at. Then I saw it.

A large old man came floating down the river. With an arrow at his heart.

**####**

"ALRIGHT, STOOOOOOOP!"

Eroichi shouted, stopping Tatsumi from continuing his story. "Um...What? This story...Where do you want to take it?" he said disbelievingly "Rather, the hell?! 'A large old man'?

"He came floating down the stream, there's no helping it" Tatsumi said nonchalantly while sipping his tea.

"THAT DOESN'T FLOAT DOWN THE STREAM!"

"Jeez Eroichi don't get your boxers in a twist, i saw it with my own two eyes too you know," I chirped, hanging upside down from his bed.

"Hold on, I'm groping for the limit of reality" poor Eroichi, having friends like us.

"Or are you just imagining groping some girl's boobs" i said deadpanned.

"I'M NOT!" Furuichi looks really toast right now. He doesn't take stories like this easily huh... "Alright let's go!"

I bet you he's thinking that something logic happened to the old man.

And I bet you he's not gonna accept that the old man literally split in two.

When Tatsumi got to the part where the old man split in two..

"NO SPLITTIIIINNGGGG!"

Tatsumi and I just stared at him. Furuichi took a deep breath and–

"NO SPLITTING!" Eroichi is totally not buying the splitting part. See? Told you.

"Then the Young man said, 'My, what a cute baby," Tatsumi continued, ignoring Furuichi's protests.

"Just stop it! Impossible, impossible!" He cried "Nobody would l isten to this story!" he stood up and went to his closet, took out a button up shirt and went in front of the mirror to ready himself "Jeez, its my fault for listening to you seriously since you both came in for a consult."

"Come on, there's still more!" Tatsumi waved at Furuichi, wanting him to listen to the rest of the story.

"Like I care! I have a date coming up now! Drink your tea and quickly get out!" Furuichi said, clearly irritated at Tatsumi. "And that includes you too Yuu," he said while messing with his hair "Being his partner in crime again in tricking me. Here I thought both of you finally come here to consult on your love life," he sighed.

"What love life?" Tatsumi and I said together. "Don't say that, from here is the important part" Tatsumi continued.

"I don't have to play along with your bullshit gossip! If you have to continue, then try bringing the baby here then talking, idiot!"

"It's fine if I bring it in?" Tatsumi asked

"If you can!" Furuichi retorted. I just watched them bickering (mostly Furuichi though) while calmly sipping tea. Tatsumi went to the door of Furuichi's room, picked something up and put it down on the floor.

There, in all his glory, was the green haired naked baby.

"Adda"

"We should've bought him in earlier Tatsumi," I said lying on my tummy on Furuichi's bed. My eyes are beginning to droop. I hope he doesn't sniff the sheets at night...

"Yeah it could've helped if you said so earlier" he said to Furuichi, who, is currently standing frozen from shock. "See, there really is a baby," he continued not noticing his male friend's frozen state.

"Daa" the green haired entity seem to agree. He knows we're talking about him. Clever baby. I didn't hear whatever those two idiots were talking about because I slept comfortably on Furuichi's bed. Now I really hope he doesn't jerk off to these sheets tonight...

**####**

I woke up to a girl's scream and a baby's (sounds like a 'Daaaaa'). I dismissed them, thinking that Furuichi switched on the tv. When finally got up, I saw a woman dressed in gothic clothes and big chest (how the hell did she get them that big?!) sitting in front of Tatsumi and Furuichi traditionally. Those idiots faces were blank.

"What's going on guys?" I said, stretching my body. That was a good nap. All three of them turned to me.

"Oh? Another one?" The gothic chick said.

"Yuu.." Furuichi said, his eyes watering " SAVE ME FROM THIS MADNESS!" he leaped at me. My face was blank as I dodged away from him. "Stupid Eroichi, you know that never works on me" Then I looked at the remaining two. "Care to fill me in?"

**####**

"So that kid is the future demon king"

"Yes" said gothic chick.

"And you're the wet nurse, Hildagerade"

"Yes"

"What's his name again?"

"Kaiser De Emperana Beelzebub The 4th"

"That's a long ass name you got there bud" i said, turning to the future demon king, "How am i going to remember that?"

"EHHHHHHHH?! YUU?! YOU TOOK THAT TOO EASILY!" Eh Eroichi woke up.

I ignored him.

"Um, Hilda-san, was it?" Eroichi said, holding out a hand to stop the gothic wo–i mean Hilda. "Im being honest, we'll ignore the rest, even if we bring the kid home we'll just end the topic here.. yeah?"

"No, that's impossible"

"Hah? Why?" I asked, still bummed at the fact that we have a future demon king in the same room as me.

"If you'd like to know why–" she pointed a finger at Tatsumi "–then you have been chosen"

By this time I was confused. Tatsumi was still holding the baby, Kai–uh–Kat–whatever–his–name–is, his face as confused as mine.

**"As the Demon King's parent."**

**####**

ssup guys, dragonette here.  
this is my first fic, feel free to point out any mistakes.

im out.


	2. Chapter 2

**/_somewhere in hell, before all this shit happened/_**

Hilda was walking down the hallway, carrying a tray of iced lemonade. {Yuu:They've got ice in hell?} There were voices in the room as she opened the door, walking calmly admist the heated discussion.

"Excuse me," she pardoned herself, walking across the room to deliver the iced lemonade to the Great Demon Lord.

"Aah, fine, I give up" the GDL surenderred "I'll let him take care of them, my son who was born earlier,"

"Hilda," he called to the blonde, gothic woman.

"Yes?"

"You take him to the human world, ya know, and while raising him to be an acceptable human, destroy!"

_**/back to the present/**_

"And–" Hilda said, sipping her tea "–thats how it is"

The three of us were dumbfounded. The Great Demon Lord is so random... And they've got ice in hell...

"He kinda goes with the flow.."Furuichi remarked. I noticed that Furuichi grabbed Tatsumi's shoulder and look into his eyes and say "God's speed Oga," his face a blank page.

"Wai– you're going to run away now?!" Tatsumi screamed.

"Yes...or rather, you go home"

I was watching the exchange quietly, munching on a bag of chips i got from raiding Furuichi's cupboard when Hilda was storytelling (hey i remember her name now!)

"Don't joke around! What do you mean Demon King's parent!" I gotta say, Tatsumi looks irritated. He rambled about something, though the only words i register was 'Don't screw with me!' I was too busy enjoying these chips. Seriously one day I'm gonna be fa–

"In other words, you refuse" Hilda stated, shattering my thoughts.

"Freakin 'course! Quickly take him back!" Tatsumi handed the baby back to the wet nurse who seemed...happy?

"Is that so.." she put the cup down, her drink finished "...I'm so happy"

Hah. Told ya she looked happy. But something's off... The invisible antenna on top of my head twitched...

"Well then, please die" she said with a pleasent smile. Wait, what?!

Taking her umbrella, she unseathed her swor–HOW THE HELL IS THERE A SWORD INSIDE THAT UMBRELLA?!

"Shit" I quickly got up and ran out of the room, climbed down the stairs with Tatsumi and Furuichi quickly following my steps. As I got out of the house, I looked up at where Furuichi's room should be and a loud crack sounded. Furuichi's room was split horizontally.

If we were still there we would've been dead.

Stupid Tatsumi and clinging baby!

"Heyy wait damnit Oga! You're definitely gonna pay that back!" Furuichi said, running while looking at the remains of his room. That woman is strong! "What the hell?! What the hell?! Why am i laughing" he cried (and laughed, with tears and snot, ew) Poor Furuichi. He must've been scared out of his wits.

"Calm down Furuichi, I'm fine!" Tatsumi said while running "Where's Yuu?" He looked behind Furuichi.

"Here," I said as I caught up with him, running beside him and the baby..

Baby?

"WHY ARE YOU CARRYING THAT?!" Furuichi and I shouted pointing to the damned baby.

"Huh? What are you–MY GOD!"

"Don't 'My God' me, quickly leave it!" Furuichi panicked. She'll be gaining on us anytime now... If she is even human, that is.

Tatsumi was busy pulling the baby off him to no avail when we stopped for a moment (Its funny how the baby just keep on gripping his shirt without tearing it off)

"Give up" Hey its Hilda! Where did her voice come from? Both boys were looking up. My eyes trailed to where the boys were looking at.

"What the.." Up at the electric pole? Seriously?! How the hell did she get up there?!

"Do you think you can run away from a demon?" She asked, glaring at us.

I don't care about that! She's wearing a dress, a short dress for god's sake isn't she embarassed?! Now I'm the one getting embarassed. Sometimes I wish that some girls aren't this... open.

"Shaddap and just stay where you are for the rest of your life!" Tatsumi said as he walked ran away.

"We can see your panties!" Furuichi...

BONK!

"OW YUU WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?!"

"..." I looked to Hilda, "Next time wear pants," I said and quickly ran following Tatsumi. I swear I saw her mouth twitch..

Our running was smooth (for about 10 seconds) when I heard Hilda shout something like aggbaba? Is she summoning the spirit of her legendary sword like in Bleach or something?

Then a creature descended infront of us, blocking our path. Tatsumi being Tatsumi, just kicked the creature out of our way (its kinda cute though.. The creature..) and it fainted (well it is TATSUMI's KICK we're talking about) "What are you doing, hurry up!" But I was just about to pet it!

"When you do things like that, I can honestly respect you" Furuichi complimented.

"Shut it, first to strike wins," Tatsumi replied

"Che, brute. That thing is really cute..."

"YUU?!" Furuichi's jaw dropped

"You have a weird eye calling that thing cute Yuu" Tatsumi responded, not at all phased by my sense of cute.

**/_several minutes later/_**

We reached the riverbank where Tatsumi and I first found the baby, I had to hold on to my knees to prevent myself from falling, trying to catch my breath. I haven't run that fast since my father set those vicious meat loving dogs on me!

Uh... That's a story for another time.

"Was your plan to escape like that?" a voice asked.

Ugh! Come on man! I'm trying to teach my lungs how to fucking breath here!

When I saw Tatsumi and a sword was pointed to his cheeks, I froze. When did she get there? There wasn't even a hair on her head misplaced!

"You.." Tatsumi turned, causing his cheek to graze the sword, producing a cut "You were planning this from the beginning weren't you?"

"Demons are quite stuck up on contracts," she answered, blood beginning to flow from the cut "So i'm happy that you refused.." The blood dripped to the baby's cheek. The baby went silent.

"Young Master?" Hilda called. Maybe it's just my imagination, but are those sparks of electricity around the baby? Oh he's going to cry... I wonder what happens to Demon babies when they cry...

Then I got my answer.

_Lightning_. And here i thought Thor was the only God of Lightning.

I was blinded by it and tried to get out of the way since I was standing next to Tatsumi, but I was too late. I got struck by it, feeling the sparks crawling on my skin.

I blacked out.

**####**

I woke up and find myself on my bed, in my room. I sat up and stretched my body. Why do I feel so damn stiff? Then I remembered I got struck by lightning... Ah maybe it was all just a dream... Yeah it's a dream. I closed my eyes. Thank god it didn't happen or I would–

"Oh you woke up," Tatsumi? I opened my eyes and I saw Tatsumi. He waltzed in my room like it was his. He always dropped by my house and I his. But I haven't went to his house for almost a year now...

He sat on the floor facing my bed (and me). "You were out for 4 days." My jaw dropped. 4 days! What in Lucifer's name knocked me out?! "You were struck by lightning–" Tatsumi said as if reading my mind. "–When Baby Beel cried that day at the riverbank."

I stared at him.

And stared. Who the heck is Baby Beel?

And suddenly green hair popped out of nowhere at Tatsumi's back, the face of the baby in my dream looked at me.

And stared.

"WHAT?! So it did happened! I got struck by lightning by this brat when he cried!" And demon exists! And Thor isn't the only one who can control lightning! Wait, Thor _controls_ lightning, this brat _produce _lightning_. _

"Call him Beel," Tatsumi said, rattling a kid's toy that rattles.. If you get what i mean. He looks like he's planning something...

My tummy rumbled. Loudly.

"..."

"..."

"Let's go to my house. It's almost dinner anyway, mom must've finished cooking." Thank you Tatsumi! Lord bless you! But I can't help but smell something fishy here...

**#### **

I should've known why he didn't make a nasty remark when my tummy rumbled loudly.

I should've known that he was planning this from the start!

Tatsumi you bastard!

You see, when we arrived at Tatsumi's house his family was delighted to see my face after almost a year not coming here. And Tatsumi was right, his mother had just finished cooking and she ushered me to sit and eat. I was surprised that Hilda was at the dining table too. but who cares, I'm hungry!

Oh the joy of homemade cooking!

Of course I cleaned up before coming here, you don't expect me to come at Tatsumi's house looking like a car accident do you?

You do? Damn. Well you got it wrong!

Ehem. Going back to the story, After eating and cleaning up, Tatsumi's mother and Misaki grabbed me and sat me down on the couch, and we sat there catching up on the months we didn't meet (I can't escape their grip! Too strong!) when Tatsumi decided to say something that made the whole family and even me, freeze.

"Yuu is Beel's mom," he nonchalantly declared, sitting on the floor with Beel on his back, pointing a finger at me. The whole family looked at me. My jaw dropped.

what..?

What?

WHAT?!

**####**

**I'm gonna leave it hanging there. My eyes hurt...**

**And Kira Tsumi, thanks for reviewing~ I appreciate it~ **

**ufufufu~**

**I'm out. **


	3. Chapter 3

I can't believe it! That bastard was planning this from the beginning! What the hell!

"Aah, no wonder you haven't visited us for almost a year..." Misaki broke the silence. She was looking at me coyly "You were hiding from us,"

Eh? Hiding?

"He does look like you" Tatsumi's mother chimed in "Beel's got your facial structure while he has Tatsumi's eyes.."

I DON'T EVEN LOOK LIKE ONE BIT OF THAT DEMONIC, LIGHTNING PRODUCING BABY!

Tatsumi's father did a sliding bow (whoa, cool) "I'M SO SORRY YUU-CHAN! I WAS CARELESS! I NEVER THOUGHT TATSUMI WILL GO FOR YOU, HIS OWN FRIEND! GOING AS FAR AS BABY MAKING!" That hurts a bit old ma–whAT BABY MAKING?!

"AND FOR THAT TATSUMI WILL TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY FOR IT!"

WE NEVER DID ANY BABY MAKING! HE NEVER EVEN SAW ME NAKED FOR FUCKS SAKE! HOW THE HELL HE WENT THAT FAR?!

"Well, it's not surprising since both of you always got in trouble together.." Misaki said, "And here I thought Hilda was the mother..."

"But for both of you to have a baby!" Tatsumi's mother said "So I'm already a grandmother huh.."

By this time, my eyes were as wide as saucers. As they were retelling the stories about how Tatsumi and I (along with Furuichi of course but he didn't do anything) , I finally have enough sense to talk. "B-but Hilda–"

"I am only but a wet nurse taking care of Young Master," Hilda cut me off, not giving me a chance to deny. That demon even wore a smirk!

"Since I cleared that all up, we're going to my room," Tatsumi walked to me and dragged me to his room, since i was too horrified to respond.

I mean, if you were declared as a mother of a baby demon and the father was your close friend who is called a demon by most students ( I admit that he is good looking–don't look at me like that!), which brings the fam bam to think that I had a 'baby making session' with him. Doesn't that make it horrifying? But I can't help being a bit happy.

A bit.

No, I don't like him that way!

Misaki snickered. "Don't be too loud!" She hollered at us as we walked to Tatsumi's bedroom.

"WE'RE NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING DAMMIT!" I shouted. If you could see my face right now, you would be laughing like a pig.

"Explain," I demanded as Tatsumi closed the door to his room.

"Patience Yuu. Patience is a virtue" he said, sitting down on the floor while i sat on his bed, cross legged. "It's better for me if they think you're the mother rather than Hilda,"

"They thought Hilda was the mother? And you're the father?" I asked, my chest constricting. What?

"Yeah. Dad accused me baby making with Hilda and even made me do the sliding bow to Hilda," I felt a pang in my chest and hit my chest right at the heart. Maybe I ate too much...

"But whyyyy did you drag me into this!" I pointed at myself.

"Well, we're always in trouble and called partners in crime, so you're gonna be my partner in this" he said while picking his nose, his eyes boring into mine. "And no running away from this."

"THAT'S NOT ENOUGH REASON FOR YOU TO MAKE ME THE MOTHER YOU STUPID IDIOT!"

"I still do not approve you as the mother, Shiranui," a new voice interrupted. Standing at the door was Hilda with her gothic glory and blonde hair and bouncy boobs (I didn't look there...okay maybe a bit)

"As if I want to be the mother" I muttered quietly but she glared at me. Of course she can hear that. Stupid demonic hearing. Beel was crawling to me, standing at the side of the bed looking at me with eyes that clearly said 'I wanna sit on your lap' Picking him up and settling him down on my lap, he started making cute noises. Well, I guess it's not that bad..

Beel's cute anyway.

What I didn't see was Hilda's eyes widened at Beel's want of attention from me instead of ignoring me.

"Did you go to school today Tatsumi?" I asked him while staring at Beel as the baby did the same to me.

"Yeah"

"So.." I said while bouncing Beel on my lap (he squealed happily. So cute!) "...tell me what happened"

**_/the next day at school/_**

Furuichi and I were hanging out at the school rooftop as usual, waiting for Tatsumi. I was harrasing Furuichi about something on his phone when the door to the rooftop banged open. Literally. And Tatsumi was crawling towards us with Beel riding on his back.

"I might as well not ask but... you okay?" Furuichi asked. I was beside Tatsumi poking at his cheek, Beel doing the same

"Do I look okay?!" Man I pity him... "It's the sixth time today," Wao. And he can still talk? What a monster. No wonder my dad likes him...

"At least, if you weren't you Tatsumi, you'd be dead by now," I remarked.

"But still... this sucks" he said, his head raising "At this rate the dream will come true.. Death.. I'll seriously die.." That must be a bad dream. Poor Tatsumi. "I have to do something!" He said with resolve.

"Dream?" Furuichi asked.

"Yeah.. I had a horrible nightmare.."

I listened in, about how Tatsumi had a dream and Beel was a huge monster and the world would end just because Beel threw a tantrum because he didn't get fed. I laughed. Both of them gave me weird looks.

"What? It's funny!"

"No it's not Yuu, it's horrible," Furuichi said.

"Why are you laughing about this? You're gonna die because of this!" Tatsumi took Beel, shaking him harshly. Beel laughed cutely. Awwwww...

They kept talking while I revised my studies. Today it's physics. Yes I study. Doesn't mean that I'm enrolled in a shitty school I don't study!

Well, I study mainly because the next time my dad's coming home he's going to do a pop quiz that involves bombing me alive and shooting at the floor near my feet when I get the question wrong.

Spartan, I know.

And he's coming back soon ( he doesn't tell me when, he wanted it to be a surprise. Huh surprise my ass!)

My eyes strayed to the old man beside the boys. Hey it's the old man floating down the river! I'll stayed silent, waiting for both of them to realise.

Anytime now...

Then they laughed about something (I don't think they're laughing genuinely) and the old man joined in laughing cheerfully, slapping Tatsumi on his back.

3

2

1

"WHO THE FUCK-!" Tatsumi shouted while Furuichi looked spooked.

I laughed so hard at their reaction. It's hilarious! Their faces were priceless!

"Yuu why didn't you tell us that he was there?!" Furuichi scolded me.

"Sorry ahahaha," I wiped a tear from my eyes. I was laughing that hard "It's just that you guys are so funny," I said, my laughter decreasing.

"Ah don't tell me.." Tatsumi pointed at the old man "Hey Yuu isn't this the big old man that floated down the river?"

"Yep" I confirmed, popping the 'p' , my eyes still scanning the book. Okay let's see.. Archimides principle...

"That's right" Old man said giving a thumbs up "Dimensional Transfer Demon, Alaindelon" he introduced himself.

Dimensional transfer demon? So that's how Beel got from hell to here...

"The guy that split in two?!" Furuichi said. "Huge!"

"Fu..." His mustache is awesome! Um.. I mean he said "You caught my attention so I came here to see how things are..-" Tatsumi grabbed the old man's face.

"Dimensional transfer? You bastard.. Coming out so nonchalantly" Ooooo Tatsumi is making his famous demonic face! "Or rather.. You're alive?" he asked with such venom "Because of you, I–"

"Yeah yeah it's fine, just like that" The old man responded, his voice a bit shaky (Tatsumi's scary i admit but not as scary as MY old man...) "But won't you listen to me?"

My ears perked. I stood up from my spot, walking towards the peculiar group. I grabbed Tatsumi's wrist that was holding the old man's face and looked at Tatsumi. "Let's hear him" I said, smiling. I heard the old man sighed in relief, and Tatsumi's face turned to dissapointment. I grinned devilishly "Of course, after he spill the beans you can beat him to a pulp," I said nonchalantly.

"Sounds like a plan" Tatsumi agreed, letting go of the old man who turned as white as paper.

"I-I didn't just go splitting at random" he started.

"Huh? What do you mean?" Tatsumi cut in, still irritated at the old man. I wonder, if he split, can I see his organs?

"Anyhow, the young master is the demon lord," he said, returning to normal. "First off, he will only be attracted to a strong person,"

Why did he say that! Tatsumi will be full of himself–

"Naw.. Well... Yeah" Tatsumi agreed, looking satisfied. Stupid boys and their egos. No offence.

"–-And furthermore," Awesome Mustache continued "Pure evil and cruel," Tatsumi's happy face shattered "Arrogant, thinking nothing of fellow man, that kind of shitty bastard is the best" he finished. With each word he looked as if there was an arrow in his head.

"That's you" Furuichi said deadpanned.

"BINGO! An accurate description of Tatsumi! Finally!" I cheered happily. This Mustache man is totally awesome!

"-Yes. Floating down the river, while losing conciousness–" Awesome Mustache man elaborated "I saw you force a large amount of people to kneel and laughed a high pitched laugh, I knew then–" he folded his arms at his chest "–Aaah, if it was that man, I could leave the young master to him, I thought. I ran my power dry and fell to sleep."

By the time he finished his story, Tatsumi was already on all fours on the floor, depressed and beating himself internally.

How do I know? I know him long enough, I guess. I thought about what the old man said. Generally strong guys...

AHAH!

"Hey Awesome Mustache Man!" I called him. Furuichi sweatdropped. Tatsumi is still on the floor.

"It's Alaindelon, young lady."

"Aah right, I kinda forgot your name," Furuichi fell. Tatsumi's still wallowing in self pity and abusing himself mentally. "If there was a stronger, more evil, shittier bastard than him, can that guy be chosen as Beel's parent?"

Tatsumi perked up immediately. Awe–I mean–Alaindelon and Furuichi stared at me, Tatsumi's eyes were looking at Alaindelon hopefully.

"Is it that bad? Being the young master's parent?" he asked, shocked. "Isn't it an honour?"

"Friggin 'course, idiot!" Tatsumi said straightforwordly said. Tsk tsk it's not that bad! Well, unless you got zapped by Beel of course...

"Well? How about it?" Tatsumi asked seriously. Alaindelon put a finger under his chin, wondering. "Well.. If that kind of human exists, that's how it would be..."

Tatsumi's face turned satanic. Beel's eyes sparkled. I stayed silent. As if there was anyone that was like him, that stupid idiot..

"No." Furuichi said "That kind of guy does not exist," Hah. Told ya. "Try looking at a mirror," he said breezily.

"Yup." I agreed "If there is someone like that he would've find you, you know–," I played with my dyed, platinum blue short messy hair. The colour's wearing off..."–to have a one on one battle with you to determine who's strongest." Looks like I have to go to the salon tomorrow...

"Fu fu.. Idiots, both of you. Have you forgotten?" Tatsumi said with such a cheerful tone (as cheerful as his voice can get)

"Huh?" Both Furuichi and I said simultaniously.

"This is 'the' delinquent school, Ishiyama High isn't it?"

Oh right. Kinda forgotten about that. I sighed. Looks like we have to follow him huh?

**####**

"HEY WAIT, OGA!" Furuichi shouted. I was walking beside Tatsumi, physics book still in my grip. I sighed.

"Are you listening to me? This is bad! This is the 3rd year building! He's above us isn't he? That Kanzaki guy!" he rambled.

"I told you I'm not really going there to fight or anything." Tatsumi responded. I snorted "Bullshit Tatsumi. Everywhere you go there _must _be a fight." And I need to study...

We arrived at class 3-A. When Tatsumi said he was looking for Kanzaki senpai.. Let's just say that they weren't very happy. Most of the occupants in the room made faces as if they're constipating. Seriously, how do they call that scary? Hooke's Law..

"Is that Kanzaki-kun fellow here-?" Tatsumi asked, his voice bright and chirpy. I just stood there, my book already closed. I can't deny a show can't I? Whispers of men saying 'Oga' can be heard. Wao. Tatsumi must be famous.

"Its Kanzaki-san" (que constipated face of Kanzaki senpai) Kanzaki senpai said, sitting like a boss on a chair "First year shit"

If Tatsumi's face were a sun, I'm sure as hell that it would be as bright as fuck here.

"Ha ha, he really brought a kid" a red head guy said, then looked at me "and his girlfriend.. I'm guessing she's the mother," Hm..He doesn't look bad–FOR GOD'S SAKE IM NOT HIS GIRLFRIEND!

Ugh whatever. Tatsumi doesn't even look bothered. I should make him an example.

Then beside him was a tall guy. No, a HUGE guy. I might see him as threatning if he doesn't have two BRAIDED PIGTAILS WITH FUCKING RIBBONS IN THEM! What is wrong with these yankees?! An afro guy ( wtf?!) approached Tatsumi. He rambled something about Tatsumi being an idiot (Bingo! You got that right!) and asking him if he wants to die.

Ohohoho you're a million years too early for that afro, too early.

Then I noticed that almost every boys' eyes were on me. Checking me out. The fuck? I wore the school uniform for girls, I just added leggings to it. (The skirt's too short) Have they never seen a girl before? Tatsumi noticed it too. Furuichi... He's outside the room and peeking in... Tatsumi raised Beel and the baby touched the afro guy's face. I held back a chuckle. Afro looks irritated. Beel sighed dissapointedly. "He said he has no buisness with small fries, get lost," Tatsumi translated with a smiling face. All eyes immediately went to Tatsumi. Whew, safe.

"I owe you one," I whispered to him as afro guy pulled back his fist to punch Tatsumi.

"Buy me a croquette after school and you're taking care of Beel today," he whispered back, eyes not looking at me.

My eyes widened "No wa–"

"WAIT!" That braided pigtail bastard! I'm in the middle of talking to Tatsumi you piece of shit! "I'll be his opponent" the braided pigtail bastard continued. As he stood in front of Tatsumi I glared at him and whispered to Tatsumi "We'll settle this later." Braided pigtails looked at Tatsumi. "You're Oga huh.. What's your business with Kanzaki-san?"

Silence.

I could see he was thinking in his head. He turned to me. His facial expression seeking an answer.

Oh hell no!

"Tatsumi.. I'm uh.. Going to wait outside and study.." I slowly inched back "Goodluck.. ahahaha" I laughed nervously. He glared and sent me a 'you're gonna regret this later' look.

As if i care! I gotta study!

Not really, I just want to get out of there. It's too crowded anyways.

So I went out the hallway and continued where I left off. Some senpais are staring though. I sighed loudly, tensing my body. This is going to be a long wait.

**####**

As I kicked the last senpai that started harrasing me I heard a shattering sound coming from the room. "Oi Tatsumi!" I called, walking to the classroom. I went a bit too far from the classroom. No wonder i can't hear what they were talking about. When I entered the room, no one noticed.

Mainly because they were looking at a window that shattered. And Tatsumi. There's no sign of Kanzaki senpai though... I walked towards Furuichi and nudged him. "Dude, what happened? Where's Kanzaki senpai?" He turned to me and pointed out the window. "Aah, so he'a not the one then?" he shook his head. I sighed. So much for getting rid of Beel. Speaking of Beel..

"DABUU!"

I can imagine him saying that with sparkly eyes. I guess he's alright. Now I gotta stay up tonight and pull an all nighter because those stupid senpais are stupid enough to touch me.

Nobody touches me unless they're personally close to me.

"Let's go guys.." Tatsumi said, his head hung in dissapointment.

"So... Do you still want croquette?" I said to him, poking his cheek.

"Maybe later Yuu.." he said dejectedly.

Poor bastard. Wait he's my friend...

Well my friend is a poor bastard that doesn't have lady luck on his side. Tsk tsk. Pitiful. Ooh, then i don't have to waste money on croquette! Now let's just hope he forgets about me taking care of Beel..

"But you still have to take care of Beel though," He added, breaking my happy thoughts.

"Fuck you Tatsumi,"

"You owe me a favour Yuu,"

"Still, fuck you."

**####**

How y'all doin? It's dragonette. I can't find my cat.

Oh well.

I'm out.


	4. Chapter 4

"Sorry for bothering you on such a lovely morning Nana-chan" I said as Nana, the owner of the salon put the finishing touch on my hair.

"Maa, it's alright! You're a precious customer after all~" she sang happily.

"That's because my father gets the bill.." I muttered under my breath.

"What did you say _Yuu-chan?_"

I looked in the mirror where she was behind me, her face scarier than an ogre, holding a pair of scissors menacingly. Shivers went down my spine.

"No–nothing Nana-chan. Ahahaha" I laughed nervously. Her intimidation level on me beats my dad. Maybe because she's a woman. Yeah that may be the cause.

"I heard that you had a baby with that Oga boy," she nonchalantly said while snipping some of the hair that aren't the same length with the others.

I choked on my tea. (tasteless, but my throat is dry so whatever)

"WHERE DID YOU HEARD THAT?!"

"Oh, here and there. I've got spies everywhere you know~" she winked at me.

"Nana-chan, I'm still a fucking virgin,"

"Still with the coarse languange, I see. Anyway, your father will love this juicy info," she took off the canvas thing that covered my body.

"The language or the baby?" I asked, looking at my hair in the mirror. Perfect.

"Both~"

"Oh come on Nana-chan! You're not that stupid to see that the baby isn't mine or Tatsumi's! I can't have a baby out of the blue!"

"Your father is going to love receiving the updates about you Yuu-chan~" Great. She's ignoring me.

Oh and did I tell you that she's a good friend of my old man?

The bell at the front door of the salon rang.

"Welcome sir! How may I–" Nana's greetings were cut short. Why?

Because Alaindelon walked in with his pink boxers and tank top. (Nana dropped her scissors)

And walked straight to me.

And split his body in half. (I thought Nana's eyes are gonna pop out of her sockets)

_And pushed me in his fucking dimensional body. _

Ooohh I'm going to enjoy fixing his face after this. No matter how awesome his mustache is.

**####**

His body split open after a while. I dramatically tried to get out of his body, only to sink in water.

I've experienced the feels that Titanic gets when she sunk. Poor ship.

Did I also tell you that I can't swim?

No?

Well bud, now you know my weakness.

As I drowned, I felt someone pulling me upwards towards the light...

Please don't tell me i died. I haven't told Tatsumi that I was the one who ate his croquettes last week.

Only to get pulled to Tatsumi's chest. Speak of the devil, then he shall appear.

"Your ability to drown is improving Yuu," he mocked me. I clung on to him like a monkey "Shut your trap Tatsumi! I just did my hair, man! Damn you!" I headbutted him. Hey, I'm not letting go of him and risk drowning again!

Wait... That statement oddly sounds like a confession.

And I think I'm forgetting something here... Oh right, my hair.

HOLY CRAPSTICK MY HAIR!

"Did the colour came off?!"

He checks my head "It looks fine to me," Then I noticed my arms were wrapped around his neck tightly to avoid drowning, both my legs are wrapped around his waist, pressing myself to him. His arms, were also wrapped around my waist, to ensure that I don't go to the depths of watery hell again. His cheeks seem to redden a bit when he realised what i realised.

My heart beat exccelerated.

I can feel the heat creeping up to my face.

What the hell is happening?

"Holy shit!" I exclaimed, letting go of him (accidently.. I swear) and his grip on me faltered because I pushed myself away from him. And I almost drowned again. But thankfully Tatsumi grabbed me (again) and wrapped his arm around my waist (again) and held me tightly against him (I choked on air holy shit) and looked at me weirdly.

"Why the fuck did you let go? Do you want to drown in this pool of pee?"

"I accidently let go cause you we–what did you say? Pee?" I looked at him, still flustered because of his actions (was he this manly all those years ago? His body is warm..) and bewildered because, a pool of pee?

Did I just drown and swallowed pee? More importantly I'm floating in _a pool of pee?_

_"_WHAT?!"

"OI DON'T SHOUT AT MY FUCKING EAR STUPID YUU!"

"BUT I JUST DROWNED IN A POOL OF PEE DUDE, I REPEAT, A POOL OF PEE AND THE POOL HAPPENS TO BE YOUR ROOM AND I WAS BOUGHT HERE BY THAT FUC–"

"Your peeing is incredible as always, Young Master!" A voice said. Beel made a sound ('ai?'). All of us turned to the voice which came from the window of Tatsumi's... pee pool.

"Floating... Floating... Floating..." Lo and behold, Alaindelon came in through the window, swimming as if this was a normal, chlorine-ish pool. "Float and stop!" He stopped right infront of us (oh how I wish to beat him into oblivion right now) and split his body into two to reveal...

"Oi where are you taking me?"

Furuichi. Eroichi. Creepichi. Silver haired Ero-Creep. I really love my naming skills.

"Wait this is–" Before he got to finish his sentence, he drowned. And Tatsumi just floated there with me clinging onto him, not moving an inch to help his friend.

"Maa, I simply wished to show Furuichi-sama this splendid urination!" He closed his eyes "It brings back memories,yes... back in the Demon World my daughter and I would often amuse ourselves floating down the urine..."

I pulled a face. And we just watched as Furuichi drown in Beel's pool if pee. I held back a laugh.

Seeing Furuichi drown is so entertaining.

Not that I'm a sadist or something...

Furuichi emerged from the urine "You go tubing down urine?!" He made some noises and finished his sentence with "Help me!"

Aaaaaannd went back into the water.

"Oi, do something about this flood already" Tatsumi said, looking at Hilda who is, the only one not wet and happily looking at us soaking in Beel's pee while floating in the air on her pet, ak-baba (Hilda told me its name yesterday as I expressed my interest in its cuteness..)

"Or maybe I can pull her in to join us have a little swim eh?" I grumbled. It's not fair!

She ignored me. "Humans, honestly.."

She sighed. "So be it."

**####**

"What the hell?" Tatsumi said, taking the words out of my mouth. We looked at the weird..thing covering Beel's private part. He looked so pitiful...

"Ooh, how fierce!" Alaindelon chriped. Aah! Right! I have a mission to do! I took a few steps towards Alaindelon and bonked his head. Hard. He yelped.

"What is that for, Yuu-sama?!" He said, cradling his head. "What for? FOR BRINGING ME HERE JUST AFTER I FINISHED MY HAIR MAINTAINENCE YOU LITTLE SHIT!" I huffed. The other occupants stared at me. "What? Oh, carry on, carry on~"

Hilda sighed, a bored expression on her face "It is an item from the Demon World which temporarily sends his urine into an alternate dimension. It is called, 'Peebeegone,'"

"It sounds cutesy." Furuichi said, looking at the thing "It's just a joke, right?" I rolled my eyes. Seriously, he still does not believe it? "Yuu, did you just rolled your eyes on me?"

"Yup. And the name is literally the function of the thing. It looks like a pot to me."

"Joke, no joke, it doesn't matter. This way the city can stay above water level," Tatsumi said, relieved.

"No, it will flood," Hilda voiced out nonchalantly.

"Eh?" All of us turned to the wet nurse (Beel raised his head)

"Although it's an alternate dimension, it is not infinite. It will only last 2 to 3 hours," She continued, looking at us boredly.

"What?!" Classic Tatsumi speaking.

"Can't we just replace it with a new one?" Good question Furuichi!

"There is no spare."

Of course. Why would there be any spare anyway.

"What?!"

"Stop saying 'what' Tatsumi, it's not gonna help," I said as I looked down at my clothes. it's drenched. I sighed. My combat boots are wet too...

I sat down on Tatsumi's bed (which made a 'squlech' sound) and procceded to take my shoes off. I wasn't really concentrating on the conversation that continued to flow, I was too busy self pitying my boots. They're my favourite, dammit! Then I noticed that both of them sat on the floor. What's happening?

"We've gotta **rip out our brains**!" Tatsumi determinedly said. All of us turned our heads to him.

"You mean, **muster our knowledge**..." Furuichi righted his words.

"**Rip them out**!"

"Uh, whatever you say, but don't involve me in it," Furuichi held his hand out, as if to stop him.

"But you're the only one I can count on!" My eye twitched. Oh? So I'm not countable? "You got a good idea right?"

So I don't have any brilliant ideas? Fine. I stayed silent.

"No I don't. And i don't wanna come up with one." Furuichi refused Tatsumi's request "Why not ask Yuu?"

Tatsumi's head snapped towards me so fast, I thought he was going to break his neck. He looked at me and stared.

"Hmph. You're not getting any ideas from me." I turned my head away, closing my eyes. "Come on Yuu! You're the mother!" He desperately said. I peeked open my eye and saw him turn back to Furuichi and said "You better come up with one!" He loudly said "Come up with one, or it's comin' out, got it?" He grabbed Beel and threateningly pointed Beel ('dabu') at Furuichi.

"That's not even close to funny! What's with that face?!" I silently observed my two, idiotic, plain stupid friends. I sighed. Why am i with them again? Oh right they're my friends. I just said it two seconds ago. I tuned out their argument and put on my boots again. Hey, even though it is entertaining sometimes it can get bored. Besides, they bicker like an elderly married couple.

I just finished tying my left boot when Tatsumi pulled me up with Beel in his hands and opened his bedroom door "Furuichi, you handle cleaning up the house!"

"Wait, what do you mean?! What should I do with everything soaked like this?! He ran to us as we decended the stairs, Tatsumi pulling me with him. "Fix it back up like it was! Countin' on ya!"

We ran out of the house, Tatsumi still pulling me and Beel on his back. "Just you wait Baby Beel! They said no leaks, no matter the amount!" I almost fell at his gullibility (is that even a word?)

"Uh Tatsumi they're just commercials.."

"The diaper doesn't leak Yuu!"

"Commercials tend to lie..."

"...JUST GO WITH IT!"

"Fine, fine..." I looked back to Beel, who was happy ( his eyes are sparkling...again) that Tatsumi's running fast.

Well, at least someone was enjoying.

**####**

**_Ssup guys. I kinda dissapeared for awhile because of school and my lazyness , ufufufu~ i dont know if i'll regularly update though and i might go on hiatus cause of 'the big exam'... Buuuuut thats a different story. Sorry if its dull. BUT I WILL UPDATE WHEN IM FREE MUAHAHAHAHHAHA_**

**_im out. _**


	5. Chapter 5

We finally arrived at the store and Tatsumi immediately went to the infant's aisle (of course, pulling me again)

"Welco– Oh! It's Oga-chan and Shiranui-chan! What's up!"A red headed worker greeted us, smiling. He looks familiar... and he's looking at our hands.

Our hands?

I looked down to our hand that's still stuck together and was surprised that Tatsumi is still holding it and made no move to remove it whatsoever. Well, I'm just gonna leave it. We're supposed to be a couple, anyway (and his hand is bigger and it's warm... Don't look at me like that!)

"I'm looking for some mystical diapers..." Tatsumi straight forwordly asked "And who are you?"

"Oh, you mean Diapies? Those got all popular on the internet after people posted about them on Chirper–" Now that I looked long enough he looks really familiar... "–So we don't have any stock right now,"

"Eh you ain't got any?!" Tatsumi said dissapointedly. I groaned and facepalmed. I ran all the way here for nothing?! AND I RAN WITH WET SOCKS AND PANTS AND SHIRT MIND YOU! Well, the shirt and pants did dry from all the running but still..

I RAN WITH WET SOCKS! CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW SQUELCHY IT IS?!

"If you're looking for diapers, we have plenty of other brands" Tatsumi pulled grumpy me (again) towards the stacks of diapers lined neatly on the shelf. The familiar red head (he looks like a senpai from school?) took one and showed it to me and Tatsumi "Take a look at the different kinds," He smiled at us. Tatsumi grabbed a pink one and the blue one that the red head was holding earlier (and yes he let go of my hand) and compared both of the diapies. I held back my laugh that was threatning to burst out from the image in front of me.

Can you imagine Tatsumi, THE Oga Tatsumi doing some baby shopping? And he looks so serious! I grabbed the shelf beside me and clamped my hand on my mouth.

Must.. Hold.. Back..

"You were quite impressive back then, Oga-chan," the red head suddenly said. My held back laughter died in my throat. What's he talking about?

"About what?" he asked, still thinking which diapers should he pick.

"I hear Kanzaki-kun is going to take a month to heal fully" Tatsumi stopped comparing the diapers and looked at the red head.

Wait.

Kanzaki-senpai?

"But after that, things are gonna get busy–," he continued. Tatsumi crouched, setting both the diapers and Beel down. "–Since you did in one of Ishiyama's TKKH"

While they talked one-sidedly, I was still wreaking my brains for any red heads.. hmm.. Red heads... Red-headed senpai?

"Huh?" Was Tatsumi's brilliant reply.

"You didn't know? Those are the 4 great powers at our school," What? Great powers? Are they gods or something? "Tojo, Kunieda, Kanzaki, Himekawa... By taking the first letter of each of their names, you make the Ishiyama TKKH." He finished. Yup. Red-headed senpai he is.

"How about this one Beel?" Tatsumi put a diaper on Beel's head. Beel made a dissaproving noise. "Yeah, no kidding. These don't look like mystical diapers to me,"

"Stupid Tatsumi, that's not a way to wear diapers," I said, removing the diapers from Beel's head. "AND WHY THE FUCK DID YOU OPENED THE PACKAGE?!"

"Yare yare.." The red head gave up. I was hitting Tatsumi's head (with him cursing the fuck outta me) and just watched as he grabbed a trolley and pushed the trolley out of the store. I shrugged. That guy was a senpai too, in the same room with Kanzaki-senpai. I was too lazy to mention it to Tatsumi. He's busy anyway...

...putting diapers on Beel's head.

"Oi Tatsumi. Do you think his ass is as big as his head?!" Beel made a dissaproving noise again.

"But I have to know which one is better!" He barked back.

"By putting it on his head?" i questioned him "Oh wow you are such a genius Tatsumi I am so lucky to have a friend like you."

There was a ruckus at the front, and guess what I saw? Gun carrying people. three, to be exact. I internally groan, and turned to Tatsumi who was paying no heed to the three people carrying guns.

Classic Tatsumi strikes!

"Okay! This one then!" he said as he picked a yellow packed diapers. "That's totally different then the one you opened.." I sighed. Now that i think about it, I sighed a lot today... He stood up and attempted to walk to the cashier.

Keyword: Attempted.

He was stopped when a gun was pointed to his face "What?" was his stupid genius response. Beel's eyes turned all sparkly shit when he saw the gun, while me? Unless the rifle is in my fucking hands, no, I don't like it. My eyes narrowed at the man. I bet all they know is how to shoot that gun, and they don't even clean that baby. I rolled my eyes, not a bit disturbed that thief was holding a gun to my face.

I've faced Death-Death situations sooooo much, I think that Death himself is bored of always seeing me.

Stupid motherfuckers (no Death, not you)

We were told to sit down on the floor. I was surprised to see Hilda and Furuichi already on the floor. Sitting down in between Hilda and Tatsumi, I made a face.

Why do I, Shiranui Yuu, have to follow their orders?

Ugh.

Just then, a guy walked in, carrying some kind of machine gun.

Which made me remember back when I was 12. It was summer, and my old man (and a certain annoying white-haired bastard that won't leave me the fuck alone) decided that we're going back to Italy and he did a camp named 'Toughen Up, Yuu!' for me to 'show the loving side of him' (he even made the banner of the camp and persuaded his boss to help him toughen me up...)

And show his love he did.

One of the 'activities' that my old man organised for me was assembling and disassembling an M-16 rifle within the time limit with a dynamite stick in hand, which he declared 'harmless' (and i responded with 'LIES'). After a few hours (um...3 or 4 hours.. i think) and explosions and swearing that can put a sailor to shame that I did accomplish it.

You know the feeling when you play an awesome kick-ass game and the big boss comes out and makes things hard for you? And after thousands of times retrying you FINALLY kicked his ass to the curb?

Yeah that feeling.

Haa, good times, good times.

"Is this all the hostages we've got?" a cocky voice sounded, halting my travel down to memory lane and irking me. My eyes travelled to an ugly looking, cliché thief (no rasism here) with ugly dreadlocks covered by a hideous green beanie.

He seriously needs a fashion advisor.

He smirked as he looked at us, the hostages, his gun lazily resting on his shoulder. Nonchalantly I observed the hostages, (who are scared _shitless_) which, included Eroichi. I giggled.

Furuichi looks soooo funny!

The long haired woman glared at me, walking funnily (I think that's supposed to be intimidating... but it's not? Besides, what's with that outfit? All of them need fashion advisors, tsk tsk). She crouched down to my eye level and glared, yet again.

"What're you laughing at girl? Is this situation supposed to be funny?"

I openly yawned.

Her slanted eye visibly twitched.

And from the corner of my eye, I can see Furuichi panicking. Making signs at me to not make trouble.

How sweet.

I smirked "If you're trying to scare me with that glare, I suggest don't," I leaned closer to her ear– "_**Because I might want to carve your fucking eyeballs out**_," –sinisterly, quietly, whispering to her ear. I leaned back and grinned devilishly, gauging out her reaction.

The mighty looking woman (she looks like a transvitite though, just saying) was reduced to a pale-faced, wide-eyed, trembling woman. She hurriedly stood up and walked as far, far away from me, handguns still pointing to the other hostages.

Objective completed.

Then sirens blared outside the drugstore. They panicked, stacking boxes and fridge at the entrance door. "Damn it, we're surrounded by cops!" the ugly beanie guy said, looking outside "This is your fault for takin' your sweet time!" he said to the guy with the elvis hairdo (who flinched) "Well, as long as we have the hostages, they can't make their move easily," he sauntered towards us, scanning.

"Okay people. Don't go thinking anything stupid like puttin up a fight," she grinned, her confidence back (but apparently not enough to look me in the eye, pfft, coward)

"Armed robbery, grand larceny, property damage..." the guy with the cap said. I rolled my eyes.

I don't care for fuck's sake!

Discreetly, I whispered to Hilda "If they're done and procceded to the fun part, tell me," She opened her eyes and looked at me, confused. "What fun?" She whispered back. I rolled my eyes. "When Tatsumi's beating the shit out of them, that's when the fun starts" I winked at her, procceding to lean back on the aisle and closing my eyes.

Nap time, Bitches.

**####**

Waking up to a gun blasting away at your ears is not a good way to wake up to. Opening my eyes, I saw Tatsumi in front of me with Beel making satisfied noises.

Now, now, I wonder why.

"Zenkou, how's it look outside?" The ugly beanie guy asked the elvis guy.

I scooted closer to Tatsumi, the woman too scared to come close to me and the cap guy too distracted picking his nose throughly. I poked Tatsumi. He jumped, turning his body to me. "Ah, you're awake," Beel was reaching for the machine gun, effectively blocking Tatsumi's face. "How wasth the napth," My eyebrow quirked. "Not so much. If you can even call that a nap."

Beel stepped on Tatsumi's head, earning a complaint from said person and grabbed the upper nozzel of the machine gun.

Oh shit.

"Beel don't–"

"What's with this kid?" The ugly beanie guy said, waving the machine gun dangerously.

Which caused the nose of the pot on Beel's private got_ stuck at the fucking machine gun. _

_"_BABY BEEL!"

"HOLY FUCK, BEEL!"

Tatsumi and I shouted respectively, moving forwards to pluck him out of the dangerous thing, genuinely concerned towards the the green haired baby.

"Don't move!" The woman pointed her handgun towards me and Tatsumi. I ignored her.

"I told you not to move, you!" Her handgun was directly between my eyebrows, barely touching my forehead. I can feel the cool metal whispering sweet nothings to my pretty forehead. I looked at her, challenging her to shoot with a wide grin on my face.

"Yuu, don't." Came Tatsumi's voice.

Damn it.

"I'll be takin this baby," Ugly Beanie declared.

"WHAT?!"

I swear me and Tatsumi are like twins, saying things at the exact same time. Beel was struggling to push himself off the gun, while Ugly Beanie said some shit that I could care less about.

And I watched with pure amusement.

I mean, it's not wrong to see a baby struggle sometimes right?

Furuichi scooted beside me ,"Oga you did it! Even if you don't ask this guy he's gonna take him away!"

I looked at him dumbly. Ugly Beanie is not Tatsumi, that's for sure.

"Right... Yeah," He doesn't look like he's sure, that Tatsumi. "If he really takes Baby Beel to Hong Kong with him, Japan will be safe from the flood!"

"Wow, Oga, for you that's good thinking!"

"Um guys..?" Both of the boys looked at me. "What about Beel zapping you when he gets like, 15 metres away from you..?"

"He won't because he's gonna form a contract with that guy already," Tatsumi said.

"Well, what if he doesn't like that guy and ends up crying and zapping us all with lightning?" I shot back. Don't they see Beel doesn't like that guy?

The sound of something crackling caught our attention.

To be exact, the sound of _electricity _is crackling in the air _around Beel. _

Oh fuck.

Beel cried and we got electrocuted.

Yay me.

**####**

**_What's up people! Dragonette here. I feel bad for not updating for so long (blame my lazyness and school) and i dont think that this chapter is good enough. IM SO SORRYYYYYYYYYY!_**

**_Ehem. Thank you for the reviews and follows and favourites, it makes me giddy, tee hee~_**

**_And OhMyGod bless you Manami Uchiha for suggesting the ship name YuGa. Holy mother of Hell its CUTE!_**

**_okay im ranting im out. _**


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